Perfect Parenting…. Fact or Fiction?

Mishika and her parents

A baby is the most precious gift that we plan, make and give to ourselves. One package wrapped with bundle of emotions- inexplicable love, rollercoaster 9 months of wait, the fusion of excitement and anxiety of a lifetime change. From feeling completely ready to being absolutely clueless, from feeling that this is all you ever wanted to oh god, what have you done, a baby magically brings out the best and worst in you !! 

I believe that the journey from conceiving, delivery, post partum, breastfeeding, baby weaning, potty training, getting into school and so on can be a bit challenging for first-time parents. However, with the standard belief that everybody does it and you can do it too, very few of us actually talk about nuances of parenting.

A baby is like a piece of your heart right in front of you. When you every now and then, see your child in pain with teething, infections, cold cough, fever, adjustment to all first seasons and what not, despite knowing that that it is common in children, you are still very worried and constantly on your toes. 

Play time = Mess

There is a running to-do list all day every day and so many invisible tasks that take up mental space. You are suggested to sleep when baby is asleep but then that time gets used in necessities like bathing, eating and other basic chores. 

As quoted by Matt Walsh, parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do. Usually your parenting choices are questioned and your methods are judged. I for example mostly end up showing phone/TV to my daughter during her meal time because in true honesty I have tried all other ways before giving in. So dear mommies, instead of falling in a mom-guilt trap, you must evaulate whether that was the best you could have done and if yes, then stop expecting others to understand because only you know your circumstances. However as first timers, it is wise to listen to elders with experience but filter unsolicited advice that drags you down. Listen to your gut as somehow parents innately know and want the best for their children.

Avatars of Mishika

The kids will throw tantrums but just when you feel that they have pulled the last string of your patience, they will give you the sweetest kisses and cuddles that will melt your heart right away. My daughter Mishika purposely throws something on the floor, analyses my frowning look and comes running to me and says sorry as she hugs me and all I can say back is "I love you baby, please don't do it again"!

We can’t and we shouldn’t stop them for being kids. The best we can do is celebrate their milestones, express your love, soak in their warm hugs, enjoy their innocent talks, cute walks, non-stop blabbers, crazy dances, those kisses and cuddles. 

You may be happily surprised how life takes a turnaround as kids slowly creep into your heart and become the love of your life. As new parents all you will talk about is babies, enjoy shopping for them, beam with pride on your child's achievements and have a desire to fulfil their every want.

Birthing and raising a child is a demanding job that isn't much acknowledged. Every child is different yet so similar. Each and every parent (with no exceptions) has had struggles, be it of any kind, any time or any magnitude. It is an irony that all you see around are happy mommies and never the struggles they go through. So, don't fall into the trap of ideal parenting as on social media as it doesn’t show the true chaos behind the scenes. 

Deciding on the no. of kids, having a maid to help with the babies, whether to be a stay-at-home mom or when to resume work leaving the baby behind at home should be your personal choice and not manipulated by what the world expects you to. Get rid of guilt and fear of bad parenting, make and capture memories to be cherished forever. 

Sometimes you will wish infanthood to get over and sometimes you will beg it to stay. Each exhausting day and sleepless night may seem long, but years will pass by in the blink of an eye and then you will long for them to be little munchkins again. 

Bringing light to our lives!

Parenting is rewarding and hard. Not enjoying every moment of it doesn't make you a bad parent, it makes you human. The baby is new to the world and you are new to parenting, so adapt and adjust with time. Nurture your baby with unconditional love and keep yourself happy as you can't pour from an empty cup. As said by Sue Atkins, "There is no such thing as a perfect parent, so just be a real one!"

With love from a first-time parent,

Shruti Sethi

https://instagram.com/talesofmishika